By Joanna Kaser
Dream 6/2
I was walking on the grass with a man, a friend, and I noticed a cute fuzzy little caterpillar. I bent to touch it and it turned into a large white fuzzy centipede-like creature and jumped up and attached itself to me. It had many tiny feet with suction cups on them and wouldn’t let go.
I was terrified and yelled for my friend to take it off me. When he came close and tried to grab it, it turned its weasel face toward him and snapped its teeth as if to bite him. He jumped back in fear. The animal moved up my body and I kept grabbing it, trying to detach it from my body, but I couldn’t pull it off as its suction cup feet held fast. (As I write this I can feel it’s hard strong body resisting me.)
This went on for several minutes and I became more and more terrified as it wound its way around my neck. My friend could not help me at all. Finally, with a burst of adrenalin and determination, I took both hands, and with every bit of strength I had, tore it from its hold around my neck. I threw it to the ground and my friend and I moved away. It looked back at me once and growled, then moved away through the grass.
I awoke feeling shaken and exhausted but also elated and joyful that I had overcome my fear because I know that this creature who masqueraded as “soft and fuzzy” was a symbol of my fear.
Recognizing our fear for what it is and facing it is the first step in overcoming it. If we do not allow ourselves to acknowledge and own our fears, we may move into inauthentic reactions of blame, shame, guilt, pity, self pity or (MY big one) righteous indignation. Any one of these reactions will take us away from our true feelings of fear, sadness, confusion, and anger.
At the time of my dream I was experiencing a sense of overwhelm having to do with several projects that would require an expression of my skills, expertise, and a self confidence that was being blocked by my reaction to my fear. I was spinning in circles, becoming more and more confused, and physically exhausted. It was almost impossible for me to focus on any one thing. Last night I tuned into my feelings and could recognize the authentic pain underlying my fear. I then fell asleep and saw clearly how, in my dream, fear can grab on, go for the jugular and paralyze me.
Our fears are always connected to an old story we are attached to about survival that is no longer true in present time. Present time, this moment, is all we have and we can terrify ourselves with all the “what ifs” and inner “voice of doom” that prevent us from living in the Essence of who we truly are. When we react to our fears instead of respond to them we are living in the past.
The “gift” of this dream for me is to know that I can access my power. That it comes from within me and not from outside myself. That my fear is not in charge of my life and my life is not about surviving. My life is about THRIVING!
Contributed by Joanna Kaser
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